Delayed Speech-hand leading - where to begin.
- Lou Armor
- Jan 26
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 20
Many parents worry when they notice their child has a speech delay or uses hand leading to communicate. It’s completely understandable to feel concerned, but there’s no need to panic. Many children hand lead for a variety of reasons, and for some, it simply means they haven’t found the words yet.
When your child takes your hand and guides you to what they want, they are communicating with you. This is called hand leading, and it’s a valid communication strategy. Your child is showing you their needs and interests, they’re still communicating, just in a different way than using words.
Hand Leading demonstrates that your child:
knows what they want
knows you can help
knows where the object is.
These are skills!
How you can help?
When they take your hand, pause and say one word. eg. Go?
Then do it, even if the child has not repeated the word, you have modeled it for them.
If the child leads you to the fridge or kitchen cupboard and points, bring out three things and say each word clearly. Put the three things on the table or counter, so that the child has to pick up the one he/she wants. If they make some sounds, be enthusiastic and say the word again and well done. That is good enough. This is not a test, you want to encourage speech.
You can add one word for example, "Go car" "Go slide" " Go upstairs" build slowly.
This is called expansion.
Toddlers and young children love to move about. This is a great opportunity to model words. Go/stop/wait/listen/more/down/up. Use these words when waiting at traffic lights. If you hear an aeroplane - cup your ear, say one word, listen and point upwards. Once they see it, say the word again, aeroplane.
Refrain from making your child say a word aloud.
This can cause stress and isn't essential for learning.
Instead, naturally demonstrate words. Hearing you identify objects helps your child link sounds with meanings.
Keep in mind that language requires significant processing for young children—allow them the time they need.
Engage with your child at their level during play by sitting on the floor at eye level.
If your child is arranging toys, trains, or dolls, follow their lead. Participate in what captivates their interest.
Employ simple, descriptive language like, “I like this car—the red car. Which one do you like?” If your child doesn't answer, that's fine. They are still absorbing the words.
Hearing adjectives such as colors and sizes aids in vocabulary development over time.
My Toddler has No Words?
If your toddler isn't speaking yet, begin with core words -
Hi, Me, You, I, Go, Please, All done, Goodbye, Potty.
Use your hands to illustrate and emphasize the word.
Teaching emotions early is beneficial for helping your child communicate facially. Make the expression and say the word. Sad/happy/angry/scared/frightened/stressed/tired, or use books, videos, or homemade emotion cards.
When to seek professional help
Limited vocabulary for their age
Difficulty combining words into sentences
Struggling to follow simple instructions
Not engaging in verbal communication with peers
Limited interest in books or storytelling
No eye contact
If, as a parent, you are seriously concerned that your child isn't speaking or is exhibiting other worrisome behaviors, inform your health visitor or GP. They can arrange for an evaluation with trained professionals and refer your child to a speech therapist.
Trust your instincts; you know your child best.
Different Learning Styles
Children have different learning styles, and your child may favor one over another. My son loved taking things apart as a child and couldn't sit still. He would get restless during movies and shows and was quite a mischievous sheep in the nativity play! It turns out he doesn't like being the center of attention. However, he enjoyed solving puzzles and problems and that is why he dismantled things, he looked forward to science class at school and loved phyics and maths.
I now realize he is a Kinesthetic Learner, but I only found this out when he was 20. He prefers movement, hands-on experiences, and real-life activities. His boundless energy, his constant movement would drive me to distraction but we found a way to cope. I made sure he was outdoors twice a day, running/cycling/building sandcastles/trampoline jumping. My husband took him swimming at 7pm at night. We had to burn off his energy.
I am extremely proud to mention that now as an adult, he successfully completed numerous marathons globally and he was the first person in the world to run, cycle, and swim the Outer Hebrides!
All that energy was put to good use.
What is your child learning syle and how can you support it?
Is it audiobooks, or is it graphs, charts, and pictures? Maybe it's spoken instructions instead of written ones? It's a journey that takes time for your child to discover and for you to understand.
Learning styles include Visual, Auditory, Reading/Writing, Kinesthetic, and Multimodal.
Introduce your child to a variety of learning tools to help them discover their preferences. More details on learning styles are available through a quick online search.
Toys that are good for opening dialogue to help communicate with children.
Playdoh - brillant and simple. Tactile for little hands, hand mobility and new words like press/cut/squeeze/stretch/roll.
What can I make?
Pizza
snake
funny face
animal
car
flower
These are easy things for children to make and open discussion, what will we put on the pizza? Cheese, tomatoes, ham, peas!
Funny face - teaching nose/eyes/mouth/hair/ freckles/ eyebrows.
Snake - will we give it some spots, or some dots, or some stripes?
You can also make little peas and let them use a teaspoon to transfer them for one tub to another or use them to count. This helps them build up their hand co-ordination and its an action, which they will enjoy.
Stacking cups are great for introducing a puzzle, teaching colours, making noise and learning about different sizes.
They can have fun watching the cups topple over, teaching cause and effect. Children love disasters, knock it over, ask them to help you rebuild it.
Great for learning colours and shapes.
Problem solving, fine motor skills, patience and cause and effect or any type of building blocks. Again these teach fine motor skills and hand dexterity. Everyone can join in and create something different.
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